Category Archives: The Bachelorette

Bachelorette Final 4 Power Rankings

4.) Robby

Robby sucks.

Personality isn’t the foundation that this show is based on, I know, but Robby doesn’t seem like a guy who has friends. Which is sad and I hate to say that about someone, but it’s true.

Robby seems like he’s constantly worried and/or hiding something.

Generally where there’s smoke there’s fire. And there’s more to his breakup with his girlfriend.

Maybe he didn’t break up with his girlfriend just to get on the show, but why are we acting like that’s not a smart career move? Moral? No. But this is the damn Bachelorette. Let’s settle down with this moral compass bullshit.

His ex-girlfriend’s roommate is talking smack about Robby and that’s normally not a good thing. If you don’t/didn’t get along with your girlfriend’s best friend, chances are you done messed up or you suck. I’ll give Robby the combo platter.

I don’t think Robby will get eliminated. It’ll probably be Chase, the poor man’s Jordan Rodgers.

But I think Robby sucks. And he sucks at Instagram.

 

True story… #beard #game #strong

A photo posted by Robby Hayes (@roberthunter89) on

Cool post, bro.

I also don’t like how his dad told JoJo to call him “Coach.” That’s weird.

He’s also the least attractive person in his family, IMO.

3.) Chase

You really gotta feel for Chase.

He’s a good-looking dude in a vacuum, but when he’s next to Jordan or Luke, he’s the ugly third brother, similar to how Jordan’s real brother probably feels.

Chase is finally opening up to JoJo, but like another JoJo once said, it’s just too little too late.

By this point, everyone has their own narrative. JoJo’s is that Ben didn’t love her as much as he loved Lauren. But he still loved her and that shit hurts worse.

Jordan’s is that he doesn’t get along with Aaron. Robby’s is his ex. Luke’s is that he’s super boring.

Chase finally revealed what he’s been hiding for so long.

HIS PARENTS ARE DIVORCED.

Just like 50 percent of people in the USA. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO RELATE TO THIS TRAGEDY?!

Obviously divorce is sad. But let’s not act like this is a huge issue. It sucks, sure. And for JoJo, if this is the only drama Chase brings to the table, shit, he might just be the logical pick.

I also hope Chase has finished his stairs. Seemed unsafe AF.

2.) Luke

I didn’t hear JoJo say that Luke had to go. I was too busy mixing a raspberry vodka drink. But apparently that’s a thing that happened.

My girlfriend thinks Luke is going home this week, but I don’t see it. I felt like these two had the best hometown date, even though Luke invited the whole damn town to his date.

Maybe Luke goes home. And if he does, he’s the favorite to be the next Bachelor, right? He’s not as lovable as Ben was, but my god, please no Robby and please no Chase. Please.

If that does happen, we need to get him some bigger pants. Little Luke needs to breath.

 

1.) Jordan

Jordan is still the favorite. Yeah, it sucks that JoJo won’t be able to hang out with Olivia Munn, but such is life.

I had a few issues with their hometown date.

First off, why isn’t there a goddamn statue of Aaron Rodgers at this school? If you produced Aaron Rodgers, why the hell would you have pictures of anyone else on the wall? Especially a nerdy looking Jordan Rodgers. Rodgers wasn’t even that good as a senior, throwing 14 touchdowns and eight interceptions in 12 games. His team went 8-3-1. That’s fine. Good for you. You’re still not Aaron Rodgers.  When JoJo asked him if a picture was Aaron, Jordan didn’t even look at the picture. He looked broken.

JoJo couldn’t help to notice that something was missing during dinner. But if the family just didn’t put two empty damn chairs there nothing would have seemed like it was missing. Take the chairs out and spread out a little. Obviously a move from the producers, but still obnoxious.

Jordan is going to win, but we’ve known that for quite a while already.

 

 

Who Would You Rather Hang Out With? | The Bachelorette Edition

Instead of my normal Bachelor/Bachelorette Power Rankings, I’ve decided to mix things up because we all know that Jordan is probably going to win even though he’s doing it for all the wrong reasons and he smiles with his mouth open too often which is super annoying. Also, how do you get your hair to stay like that? There’s a fine line between the perfect amount of hair product and too much and my god, Jordan hasn’t crossed it once.

Would I want to hang out with Jordan? Probably not unless he was not there and he invited his brother Aaron and Olivia and Aaron left right after that.

That’s the game. Would you rather out with this guy or that guy?

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

James Taylor vs. Robby

JT was my guy before Monday night’s episode. The singing would get annoying, but he seems like a normal guy and has a soft body, which I thought was illegal in Bachelorette-ville. But he broke one of very few rules the show has in Monday night’s episode. He threw another contestant under the bus.

Does Jordan act like he’s entitled? Yes. But to tell a story about playing cards and how he argued about it? Ugh. Horrible dirt. Unless he killed someone in the house, you keep your mouth shut. Remember how being a rat ended up for Leah with our boy Ben last season? Exactly. Don’t do it.

But he’s going up against Robby. Robby hasn’t shown much of a personality at all. He has a very full beard and he was apparently a professional swimmer at one point in his life. The only thing I really remember about Robby on this season as the he went from 0 to 1,000 real quick when it came to loving JoJo.

James Taylor will probably be eliminated before Robby, but not in the Kyle Ratke sweepstakes.

Let’s hang out, Robby. Maybe you play your guitar, I’ll call our old friend Wells up and we’ll drink some moonshine. Sounds like a killer time.

Chase vs. Jordan

Chase is like the uglier and less charming version of Jordan, which doesn’t bode well for him in the near future. The good news for Chase is that he seems more authentic than Jordan. Then again, that’s like being a better human than Donald Trump.

Like Robby, Chase is kind of a ‘bla’ guy. Hopefully we learn more about him, but I don’t think I knew who he was until like two weeks ago.

Jordan would be a fascinating guy to hang out with just to learn how he operates. He looks totally fake on TV, but in real life, maybe his looks and charm would fool me. Plus, I could have him tell me football stories about his brother and what being on a practice team is really like.

Interesting tidbit: From what I’ve heard, Jordan and Aaron aren’t exactly best friends. Or even friends at all. So that probably goes the fun possibility that Aaron and Olivia would join for a hometown visit.

Alex vs. Chad

CHAD IS BACK! OK, not really in the show. Although it wouldn’t surprise me if we saw him again this season eating a tray full of deli meat.

Alex was the guy who kept complaining about Chad on their 2-on1 with JoJo. Clearly Chad is a crazy person, but you could tell JoJo was like, “Damn, do I have to keep Mighty Mouse, too?”

The answer was yes. Since then, Alex hasn’t been as violent as Chad, nor has he ate as much meat. He has been more annoying, though, and has become the ultimate d-bag.

If you hung out with either guy, you might be murdered within two hours. But with Chad, at least it would be entertaining.

Short post this week. Talk to you cats soon.

UPDATE: I forgot about Luke, which seems dumb because he’s probably in second place in the JoJo Sweepstakes. Unfortunately for Luke, that doesn’t do a whole lot when it comes to hanging out with me. He talks too slow and says ‘like’ too much. The only person he’d beat in this contest is Alex, and honestly, I’d rather have a conversation with my student loan representative than talk to Alex.

Bachelorette, NBA Draft And KAT Talk

I was able to chat with Tim Parachka from 1390 KFAN based in St. Cloud on Saturday morning to chat about “The Bachelorette” and why Evan is a complete d-bag. Tim is a huge Bachelor and Bachelorette fan and we occasionally text about our predictions. Am I proud of that? Yes. Yes I am.

We also chatted about the NBA Draft,  and the multiple options the Wolves have with the No. 5 pick.

You can listen to show here. I enter at the 21-minute mark. I suggest you subscribe to Tim’s podcast as well. Dude loves the NBA and has some pretty smart takes, even though his profile picture might not look like it.

 

What I Know So Far After Watching 20 Minutes Of “The Bachelorette”

For better or worse, I’ve only been able to watch about 20 minutes of this season’s “The Bachelorette.”

I’ve never actually watched a season of it, but after getting hot and heavy into last season of “The Bachelor,” I decided that tonight, June 6, I would start watching the show every Monday night from here on out. It certainly helps that I know JoJo from getting her heart effin’ straight stomped on by Ben last season.

Like I said, I’ve watched 20 minutes of this nonsense with my GF and our neighbor after arriving home from a softball game. So I know pretty much nothing.

Here are a few observations on characters from what I gathered in 20 minutes. Let me know if I’m even remotely close.

JoJo – Still very boring, IMO.  I was reminded that she wore a goddamn horse mask the first time she met Ben. She should have been eliminated on the spot. Still trying to figure out what exactly she’s looking for here. At least the contestants know that her dad is part of some sort of mafia, her brothers are huge d-bags and her mom has gone through more plastic surgeries than Janice Dickinson.

Alex – Dude had a super awkward confrontation with Chad after Chad talked to JoJo outside before the rose ceremony. Would I be pissed at Chad? Yeah, but if I knew I was going to confront him like a nervous teen asking a girl to the school dance I just would have been quiet.

Ali – He never talked during the 20 minutes I watched. Nothing to report.

Chad – Chad. This guy. He doesn’t give AF, but he probably should.  Chad is the guy that all other guys hate. If you don’t have a guy like Chad in your group, you’re Chad. Sorry. This guy had like 3,000 calories of meat in like 12 minutes. He doesn’t care what other people think, which is sometimes cool, when it has to do with world issues and shit like that. This guy is just a dick and everyone hates him. He reminds me of Olivia. Instead of having weird feet, he just eats a lot of deli meat.

Chase – No idea. Has a forgettable face, though.

Christian – I thought I saw in the outtakes that he stripped down and jumped in a tub. So that’s kind of weird. And then JoJo just put her feet in the water and her foot “accidentally” touched something under the water. Not sure why this didn’t make the actual show. Seems like it should have.

Derek – Nope.

Daniel – Hoping he does something really stupid so I can be like, “Damn, Daniel!”

Evan – He has loose strands of hair and to be quite frank, that gives me the willies.

Grant – Looks like he should be the lead singer for some sort of indie rock band.

James F. –Looks like a normal dude, which us normal dudes can appreciate.

James Taylor – Apparently he’s a singer and he even played JoJo a song, which is a super original thing to do for a singer. I think it earned him the rose, so his ballsy move paid off. I appreciate the fact that he looks the opposite of Chad, which is sincerely a compliment.

Jordan – This is Aaron Rodgers’ brother, FYI. And sorry, Jordan AKA former pro quarterback (lol), but I find it very hard to believe you lack the ability to find a significant other. This is a straight publicity move by someone who doesn’t need it. Does JoJo know that he’s Aaron Rodgers’ brother yet? Someone answer me. Does Olivia Munn watch the show? Is she reading this blog?

From what I remember, Andy picked Aaron Murray’s brother two seasons ago, so if you’re the less successful brother of an NFL quarterback and single, “The Bachelorette” seems like a natural fit.

Luke B. – Not sure who he is, but his hair needs to do less.

Nick B., Robby, Vinny and Wells –  No clue who these guys are, either. I’ll learn tonight. I will say Wells is a sick-ass name.

Update on KAT

Here's KAT hanging out with his friend Kevin Love.
Here’s KAT hanging out with his friend Kevin Love.

We’ve had KAT for a little more than a week now. He’s still the bomb.com. He is starting to go to the bathroom in his poop box, so that’s good. In negative news, he’s starting to bite a little bit more. It was super adorable when he just licked my hand and then fell asleep. Now he’s biting it like Tony The Tiger on crack. That’s alarming. He’s also learned how to climb into bed, which is cool and all at 3 p.m., but not so much at 3 a.m.

That’s all for now. I’ll post something tomorrow to reflect on how big of a d-bag Chad is.