Personality isn’t the foundation that this show is based on, I know, but Robby doesn’t seem like a guy who has friends. Which is sad and I hate to say that about someone, but it’s true.
Robby seems like he’s constantly worried and/or hiding something.
Generally where there’s smoke there’s fire. And there’s more to his breakup with his girlfriend.
Maybe he didn’t break up with his girlfriend just to get on the show, but why are we acting like that’s not a smart career move? Moral? No. But this is the damn Bachelorette. Let’s settle down with this moral compass bullshit.
His ex-girlfriend’s roommate is talking smack about Robby and that’s normally not a good thing. If you don’t/didn’t get along with your girlfriend’s best friend, chances are you done messed up or you suck. I’ll give Robby the combo platter.
I don’t think Robby will get eliminated. It’ll probably be Chase, the poor man’s Jordan Rodgers.
But I think Robby sucks. And he sucks at Instagram.
Jordan is still the favorite. Yeah, it sucks that JoJo won’t be able to hang out with Olivia Munn, but such is life.
I had a few issues with their hometown date.
First off, why isn’t there a goddamn statue of Aaron Rodgers at this school? If you produced Aaron Rodgers, why the hell would you have pictures of anyone else on the wall? Especially a nerdy looking Jordan Rodgers. Rodgers wasn’t even that good as a senior, throwing 14 touchdowns and eight interceptions in 12 games. His team went 8-3-1. That’s fine. Good for you. You’re still not Aaron Rodgers. When JoJo asked him if a picture was Aaron, Jordan didn’t even look at the picture. He looked broken.
JoJo couldn’t help to notice that something was missing during dinner. But if the family just didn’t put two empty damn chairs there nothing would have seemed like it was missing. Take the chairs out and spread out a little. Obviously a move from the producers, but still obnoxious.
Jordan is going to win, but we’ve known that for quite a while already.
It must have been like three years ago. I was at Bar Louie (obviously sober) with a few buddies from college. My friend AC, who is definitely not reading this, was rooting for Snedeker. I knew absolutely nothing about Snedeker, and I still don’t. But AC is a smart golf mind and hey, 50/1 odds were good, right?
(Not exactly. I’ve seen lines of 70/1 since I made that bet. So as always, research (and less alcohol) helps before making bets.)
Why It Won’t Win:
Because he took 22nd place with a +1. He was 21 shots off the lead. Almost had it!
For what it’s worth, Henrik Stenson had 30/1 odds while Phil Mickelson was 40/1.
Bruce Arians is one of the best coaches in the NFL and his hat game is fire. He swears like a pirate and I would imagine he likes to have himself an alcohol or two at times.
The Honey Badger is still there. Players like David Johnson and John Brown are only getting better on offense and there’s a good chance we’ll look back and think, ‘how the hell did Robert Nkemdiche fall to them?‘
This seems like easy money, which is exactly why it’ll probably lose. But for a team to regress four wins with pretty much the same cast, well, that seems pretty unlikely.
Why It Won’t Win:
Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald are old and will probably get hurt. Palmer has already torn his ACL like 12 times (twice). He’s 36 years old. If he gets hurt early in the season, so long season. Drew Stanton is fine. But he’s still Drew Stanton.
Eventually, Fitz is going to fall off, right? Maybe not. He just had 1,200 yards for the first time since 2011. But the odds of him repeating that are slim.
As far as the division goes, the Seahawks are still really good. The 49ers are probably going to see a little bit of improvement under Chip Kelly, even if it’s not sustainable long term. The Rams, well, Jeff Fisher is still there, so they’ll probably finish 7-9 because that’s what Jeff Fisher does. But this is a tough division. One major injury or slip up and it’s easy to fall into rebuilding mode. The 49ers were a disaster last season and they were just in the Super Bowl four years ago. Things can change quickly.
Because the Vikings are my team and if they don’t win 10 games this season, the hell with it all. They won 10 last season and this is a team on the rise. Teddy Bridgewater is getting better. The wide receiving group isn’t flashy, but they got rid of Mike Wallace who gave about as much effort last season as as my cat does to not be a total dick all the time. Zero.
Plus, this unit is moving indoors! Teddy Two Gloves gets to sling it around US Bank Stadium. We’ve been hard on Teddy, but have you ever tried to throw a football 30 times when it’s five degrees and you’re getting your ass kicked 25 times by 300-pound guys? Me neither, but I imagine it sucks.
The offensive line is better. Andre Smith and Alex Boone were nice additions and really, it can’t get worse than last season. Matt Kalil is probably going to suck again, but whatever. He’s better than Trent Richardson.
Teddy didn’t make the jump we wanted him to, but again, it’s not easy when you’re getting no protection at all. That should improve this season.
Defensively, this is going to be a top-5 unit. Harrison Smith, Xavier Rhodes, Anthony Barr, Linval Joseph, Everson Griffin and Eric Kendricks are studs.
Mike Zimmer is the defensive back whisperer and I wouldn’t be shocked if the Vikings had the best pass defense in the league next season.
(Full disclosure: I forgot Trae Waynes was on the team.)
When it comes to the division, the Packers are still the Packers and that won’t be fun. But the Lions lost Calvin Johnson and I don’t know if I can name more than four players on their offense. The Bears still have Jay Cutler, so that’s not a major concern. Unless the game is ‘What quarterback looks more constipated?’
If we’re playing that game, then I’m scared shitless of the Bears.
Why It Won’t Win:
Because Adrian Peterson is getting old (31). History tells us that eventually he’s going to fall of.
In related news, Peterson doesn’t believe in history.
Because Norv Turner is 12 years past his prime.
Because Teddy takes a step back and we all realize we might need to draft another quarterback. What if Bridgewater’s ceiling is Sam Bradford? Are we fine with that?
Because the schedule isn’t the easiest for the Vikings. Packers twice, Giants, Texans (a lot of solid additions), Eagles, Redskins, Cardinals, Cowboys, Jags (Bortles is getting better) and Colts (Luck is back).
OK, the schedule actually looks pretty favorable. I need more reasons why this isn’t going to happen otherwise it’s definitely not going to happen.
Because the Rams are moving to Los Angeles. Don’t sleep on how that transition can effect a club on the field and in the locker room.
The team is coached by Jeff Fisher who has six winning seasons in 21 as a coach. SIX! That isn’t good! He hasn’t won more than eight games since 2008. Why do we think he’s a good coach? The Rams have won 7, 7, 6 and 7 games, respectively, since Fisher arrived.
But yeah, he’s a great coach. Absolutely.
Winning eight or more games with Case Keenum or a rookie quarterback in one of the best defensive conferences in the NFL? No thanks. Six wins seems about right.
Why It Won’t Win:
Because Jared Goff is going to be the next big thing. Everything is going to click for him and while some people struggle playing at home (Goff was born in Novato, CA) , Goff will thrive. It helps when you can hand the ball off to a beast like Todd Gurley 25 times a game.
Also, this defense is still really good. A front unit of Robert Quinn, Michael Brockers, Aaron Donald and Quinton Coples is scary as hell. If this team won seven games with Nick Foles and Case Keenum at starting quarterback, can’t Goff get them one more?
St. Louis is going to have a great team when the Rams move back in six years.
First off, 12/1 odds for this is a horrible bet. I did some more research and it looks like some casinos got up to 18/1. But here we are.
I made this bet because it’s the Vikings. My team. Do I think they are going to win the Super Bowl? No, because then you just set yourself up for disappointment. But I do think this is the best team Minnesota has had since 2009 and the Vikings should have won that Super Bowl.
(Excuse me while I finish a liter of vodka.)
The Vikings were one kick away from advancing out of the Wild Card round last season and nearly every position should improve just from natural development. This team should be better than last season’s team.
I also should have had something more than Cheese-Itz for lunch today, but things don’t always go according to plan.
Why It Won’t Win:
Because on paper, the Patriots, Steelers, Packers, Cardinals and Seahawks look better.
My buddy Joey told me that if I win this bet, it would be the best day of his life. Obviously this has nothing to do with the bet but instead the Vikings winning it all.
To say it would be the best day of his life indicates just how desperate Vikings fans are for a championship.
Joey also got married a year ago, so hopefully his wife isn’t reading this.
I had fun writing this.
Next week I’ll be writing my over/under picks for all 32 NFL teams.