Instead of my normal Bachelor/Bachelorette Power Rankings, I’ve decided to mix things up because we all know that Jordan is probably going to win even though he’s doing it for all the wrong reasons and he smiles with his mouth open too often which is super annoying. Also, how do you get your hair to stay like that? There’s a fine line between the perfect amount of hair product and too much and my god, Jordan hasn’t crossed it once.
Would I want to hang out with Jordan? Probably not unless he was not there and he invited his brother Aaron and Olivia and Aaron left right after that.
That’s the game. Would you rather out with this guy or that guy?
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
James Taylor vs. Robby
JT was my guy before Monday night’s episode. The singing would get annoying, but he seems like a normal guy and has a soft body, which I thought was illegal in Bachelorette-ville. But he broke one of very few rules the show has in Monday night’s episode. He threw another contestant under the bus.
Does Jordan act like he’s entitled? Yes. But to tell a story about playing cards and how he argued about it? Ugh. Horrible dirt. Unless he killed someone in the house, you keep your mouth shut. Remember how being a rat ended up for Leah with our boy Ben last season? Exactly. Don’t do it.
But he’s going up against Robby. Robby hasn’t shown much of a personality at all. He has a very full beard and he was apparently a professional swimmer at one point in his life. The only thing I really remember about Robby on this season as the he went from 0 to 1,000 real quick when it came to loving JoJo.
James Taylor will probably be eliminated before Robby, but not in the Kyle Ratke sweepstakes.
Let’s hang out, Robby. Maybe you play your guitar, I’ll call our old friend Wells up and we’ll drink some moonshine. Sounds like a killer time.
Chase vs. Jordan
Chase is like the uglier and less charming version of Jordan, which doesn’t bode well for him in the near future. The good news for Chase is that he seems more authentic than Jordan. Then again, that’s like being a better human than Donald Trump.
Like Robby, Chase is kind of a ‘bla’ guy. Hopefully we learn more about him, but I don’t think I knew who he was until like two weeks ago.
Jordan would be a fascinating guy to hang out with just to learn how he operates. He looks totally fake on TV, but in real life, maybe his looks and charm would fool me. Plus, I could have him tell me football stories about his brother and what being on a practice team is really like.
Interesting tidbit: From what I’ve heard, Jordan and Aaron aren’t exactly best friends. Or even friends at all. So that probably goes the fun possibility that Aaron and Olivia would join for a hometown visit.
Alex vs. Chad
CHAD IS BACK! OK, not really in the show. Although it wouldn’t surprise me if we saw him again this season eating a tray full of deli meat.
Alex was the guy who kept complaining about Chad on their 2-on1 with JoJo. Clearly Chad is a crazy person, but you could tell JoJo was like, “Damn, do I have to keep Mighty Mouse, too?”
The answer was yes. Since then, Alex hasn’t been as violent as Chad, nor has he ate as much meat. He has been more annoying, though, and has become the ultimate d-bag.
If you hung out with either guy, you might be murdered within two hours. But with Chad, at least it would be entertaining.
Short post this week. Talk to you cats soon.
UPDATE: I forgot about Luke, which seems dumb because he’s probably in second place in the JoJo Sweepstakes. Unfortunately for Luke, that doesn’t do a whole lot when it comes to hanging out with me. He talks too slow and says ‘like’ too much. The only person he’d beat in this contest is Alex, and honestly, I’d rather have a conversation with my student loan representative than talk to Alex.