This week’s Bachelor episode ended in “To Be Continued” which I hate. This is the Netflix era, ABC. You can’t do us like that.
Spoiler: Ben sent Jubilee home because she sits like a crazy person.
The episode ended after Amanda and Emily told Ben that Olivia is a bully. And props to them. I think it was Emily who asked whether or not she could love someone who can have feelings for someone as horrible as Olivia. And that’s a legit question. Especially for a show like “The Bachelor.” We aren’t used to that.
This is the show that had a Bachelor who said, “Es OK” 20 times an episode.
Without delay, here are this week’s rankings. Enjoy.
1.) Lauren B.
Ben and Lauren B. made out at least four times this week. He took her away from the girls for what seemed to be at least 20 minutes, or enough for Lace (miss you) to get absolutely shitfaced.
I’m not sure if Ben likes it or not when Lauren B. says things about being with him forever, meeting his parents and adopting Amanda’s kids. But things seem to be going great with these two.
(OK, she didn’t say one of those things.)
Side-note: Lauren B. is 5 feet 7 inches tall. WUT? She looks like she’s a foot short The internet doesn’t lie, though.
Yes, I’ve read all their bios.
I’ve also noticed Lauren B. is genuinely pleased when someone else gets a one-on-one date. That’s probably because she knows she has this shit locked up already.
JoJo was pretty chill in this episode. She wore a Beetlejuice top at what was supposed to be the rose ceremony and we confirmed that her and Becca are the only two people on the show that drink beer.
Despite having a minimal role throughout most of the episode, JoJo did the right thing when grabbing Ben after he dismissed Jubilee. We were all expecting Olivia to pop out and starting complaining about her damn cankles again. Good for JoJo.
I just want to know how Amanda looked so damn flawless when she woke up at 4 a.m. for her one-on-one date? It takes me at least three hours after waking up before I look like a human being. Then again, that probably has to do with the eight glasses of wine I had last night.
Amanda is sweet. Her last husband was a scumbag. And her and Ben’s date didn’t include a hot tub. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. Or maybe an intern dropped the ball.
Props to her and the other girls for ratting out Olivia. If one girl does it, you never know how Ben would have taken it. But two. Well, we could be on our way to sending Olivia home.
Question for you: Is Amanda’s voice annoying or sweet? I can’t tell.
Not much to report on the Caila front. She needs to get back into the game somehow, though.
Reminder: Caila admitted to breaking up with her boyfriend because she saw Ben ON TV. Again. That is something you should never, ever admit. It’s like telling someone you collect hamsters who has never met you before. Or like farting on the first date. Just hold it in.
She drinks beer and she’s still a virgin. That’s pretty much it out of Becca-land.
5.) Lauren H.
I still don’t know what to think about Lauren H. She’s not at all like the other girls. She’s a lot like JoJo in the fact that she just doesn’t seem to give a shit what anyone thinks. She’s kind of nerdy and definitely got good looking at a late age. She doesn’t act like a “hot girl.”
Yet, I’m not completely sold that Ben is attracted to her. She’s got everything together, unlike some of the others, but it doesn’t leave much mystery.
The fashion show was fun and Ben’s hair looks much better with some volume. Do with that advice what you will, Ben Higgins.
The real question is if a contestant can win after dressing up like a chicken for a talent show. Huge obstacles to overcome. I once missed 14 free throws in a middle school basketball game, though, so anything is possible.
My God. Olivia is the worst.
And she’s 23 years old. Think about how much you’d hate her if you worked with her. You would definitely have side email chains going on with coworkers. This is also your opportunity to feel extremely old and worthless.
I’m 25 and I had Cheerios for lunch. I’ve definitely got my shit together.
With Olivia, it’s not necessarily just that fact that she’s a giant, well, you know. She’s insecure (cankles, toes). She has bad breath. She looks into everything.
“Ben grabbed my waist. It’s a sign.”
STFU. No it’s not.
And with all of that, it looked like she was going back on top of the power rankings after getting a rose from Ben (over Lauren B.). But then Emily and Amanda snitched on Olivia and shit hit that fan. We think. We all have Olivia on the bottom of our mental rankings, but the “To Be Continued” leaves some mystery. We don’t know how Ben reacts to this. In a podcast I listen to, Ben admits that he has no idea what is going on behind the scenes during the season. He’s off by himself until the dates.
Just something to consider. Olivia is the worst, but Ben probably doesn’t know that yet.
I want Jennifer to be higher. She seems nice and like she has a good sense of humor, but we really don’t know anything yet. She spoke up a little to Ben this week. Maybe a one-on-one next week?
She certainly needs it.
Emily won’t win, but she beat out her twin sister, so she’s already a winner in mom’s book.
She did a good thing throwing Olivia under the bus, much like she threw her sister under the bus.
But then there was the awkward conversation with her sister on the phone. Was she crying? Was she laughing? Was her sister like, ‘Yeah, umm. Remember when Ben picked you over me in front of mom and our fat dogs? I don’t want to talk about this.’
I would also like to know what her new occupation is. Former twin? Twin killer?
She’s an intern, right?
It kind of speaks to how little he felt for Jubilee considering he’s keeping around Leah, a person I’ve never seen him talk to yet.
That’s all I’ve got this week. Talk to you folks next week.